Welcome to Scrolls and Trolls

PART I: Invocation of the Tracking Number Sing to me, O Muse, of my package, of my beautiful baby bubble-wrapped wanderer/traveler/nomad. Driven off the workshops of Guangzhou and shipped to the salted sorting centers of the West. Tell of the man—the Consumer, a.k.a me—waiting solemnly by her windows, heart heavy for her soon-to-be $2.99 ergonomic matcha whisk.  Many the sorting hubs it saw, and many the underpaid handlers too. For though the Consumer prayed to the gods and s

Dear Readers, It is I, Julius Caesar, who must “vent” to you all today. Yes, I am aware that “venting” is not a proper Roman verb. But times change, and so do men — especially men who have been ghosted, unfollowed, and publicly humiliated on what the youths call “Instagram . ” Consider this my Commentarii de Bello Amore: a commentary on the wars of love. It has come to my attention that Cleopatra VII Thea Philopator, Queen of Egypt, mother of my son, and my former ally in bot

★☆☆☆☆ Would I return? Only if I was cast out by every tavern, bakery, and sewer in the city. With great skepticism, I entered this...