Notice of Termination: Your Chariot-Lyft Account has been Deactivated

Dear Caecilius Swiftus Maximus,

This letter constitutes as notification of your Chariot-Lyft driver termination effective as of Marcus Tullius Cicero’s consulship. Attached below is a reminder of the Chariot-Lyft Driver Independent Contractor Agreement:

Welcome to the Future of Imperial Transport! By checking the box (or marking this tablet with an ‘X’), you agree to the following legally binding edicts. Failure to comply will result in account deactivation, public shaming, or being fed to the beasts in the Colosseum.

1.1 The Driver is an “Independent Contractor.” You are not an employee of Chariot-Lyft, the Senate, or the People of Rome (SPQR). You are essentially a freelancer with a very fast, dangerous cart.

1.2 Chariot-Lyft provides the “platform” (a small boy who screams destinations at you). You provide the chariot, the horses, and fodder.

2.1 All fares are set by our pricing deity. Fares may include surge during special events such as when the Emperor feels moody.

2.2 Tipping is not mandatory, but drivers are permitted to accept small offerings, such as grain, watered wine, or the occasional minor family heirloom.

3.1 “No Catapult” Clause: Drivers shall not use engines or artillery to give passengers a “shortcut” to their destination.

3.2 Passenger Safety Clause: Passengers are responsible for holding onto the guardrails. Chariot-Lyft is not liable if a passenger “experiences an unexpected dismount” while the chariot is at a full gallop.

3.3 Animal Presentation Clause: Your horses must be presentable. A horse that is “mostly skeleton” or “actively on fire” will result in a temporary suspension.

3.4 The “Pax Romana” Clause: Drivers shall not use their scythes to “resolve traffic disputes” with rival chariot companies, unless the passenger has selected the “Aggressive/Gladiator” ride option.

4.1 Chariot-Lyft drivers are under no obligation to transport “any wooden equine structure larger than a standard mule, especially if it appears to be hollow and ‘breathing’ quietly.”

4.2 If a passenger insists on bringing a Trojan Horse, the driver may apply a "Hazard Charge" of 50 denarii.

5.1 You agree to hold Chariot-Lyft harmless for all incidents, including but not limited to: loss of limb, trampling, divine intervention, or being drafted into the Legion mid-ride.

5.2 Chariot-Lyft reserves the right to terminate this agreement at any time, with or without cause. You also agree to share ALL data with Chariot-Lyft Co.

ACCOUNT DEACTIVATION NOTICE

Caecilius,

Your account has been permanently deactivated following multiple reports from passengers. Your behavior has violated and fallen below the standard of the virtus (Civic Virtue) we expect from our partners.

Specific Violations:

• Passenger Complaint (Kalends of Martius): "The driver spent the entire ride screaming and trying to joust with another driver. We crashed into a bakery. Below 1-star, do not recommend."

• The “Incident” (Ides of Julius): You accepted a ride for “Pluto,” and your GPS signal was lost somewhere near the volcanic areas of Cumae. We have not seen the passenger since.

You have 24 hours to return your Chariot-Lyft Magnet Emblem to the nearest temple. Failure to do so will result in a curse upon your crops and lineage for seventeen generations.

Farewell, 

The Chariot-Lyft Safety Tribunal