PANDORA’S UNBOXING: I Opened the PR Box I Was Warned About and OMG... #ErisCollab

“Hey guys! Welcome back to my lyre-stream! So today we are opening this gorgeousiosus box that was left on my doorstep by a very mysterious, handsome guy (shout out to Hermes Express lol!).”

“As you guys can see here there’s a little note that says “DO NOT OPEN,” but you guys obvi know I literally cannot resist a little mystery… and tbh, the packaging is giving “ethereal,” so let’s see what’s inside!! Oh my gosh is that a glitter bomb finish… sorry got off-tracked let’s get back to the unboxing”

Item 1: The “Age-less” Reedle-Shot Mugwort Serum (5mL)

“Oh. My. Gosh. You guys… this bottle is so petite and tiny but it costs more than a fortune. It says here it’s infused with diamond powder, 24k gold, caviar extract, grape stem cells, and more! It smells like…hmm…nothing. But I just know it’ll make my dull skin sooo shiny, glowy, and like lowkey give korean glass skin.”

Item 2: Premium Noise-Cancelling Earbuds

“Wow. Jaw is dropped. These are so sleek and minimalistic. I can just put them in and legit block out the entire world. I don’t even need to listen to my husband, Epimetheus, complain about his brother. This is great for you girls who just want a self-care night free from the realities of the world—like a cocoon!”

Item 3: Infinity Knit Sweater

“So this one’s from Hephaestus Apparel… and just wow it’s so cheap! It was literally $3.00, and look here it says ‘Handwoven in 4 Minutes by an AI Loom!’ I just KNOW it’s gonna look so cute for the Gram, even if it might dissolve in the wash LOL!”

Item 4: Smart Mineral Water Bottle Infused with Electrolytes and with LED Hydration Reminders

“OK now, I think I’ve found my personal fave. This is life-changing. It connects to your phone via Bluetooth and flashes red if you haven’t taken enough sips in an hour. That’s soo niche like how do you even think of that!”

Item 5: Filtered “Perfect” Ring Light and Tripod Stand

“Finally! I’ve literally been wishing for this!! It’s been on my wishlist for wayy too long. I'm squealing right now. It’s this special setup that’ll give your face a completely flawless, ethereal glow. LOL it makes the real world so dull in comparison…”

“Oh wait—there’s one little thingy left at the bottom… Oh it’s a sticker that says ‘hope.’ It’s kind of cute, I guess… But it’s totally definitely a freebie, and we don’t do those. Also I guess it doesn’t really match the aesthetic of the rest of this kit. I’m just gonna toss it. Thanks again to Eris Cosmetics for the collab! Use my code ‘UNBOXED’ for 15% off your next splurge! Bye!”

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User Comments:

Zeus_Official: “LMAO we told you not to open that, but you literally never listen. Also, that $3 sweater looks OK on you! #PaidPromotion #I.see.you”

HOPE_Sticky: “Dude did you just throw me in the trash. I was literally at the bottom of the box for a reason. Hello? Climatic big finale main character moment? Check you DMs babe, I’m trying to collab on a ‘Restoring the World’ series”

Narcissus.the.handsome_est: “Yo does that ring light work in puddles? Just asking. For a friend.”